12 Foot Wall Covered With Butter

Susie's Legs 2014

 

12 Foot Wall Covered With Butter by David T.

Regarding the Daily Dot article on CrossFit entitled Why I don’t do CrossFit….I would say the following….

This is being typed stream of consciousness (content over punctuation and grammar) while I watch my son perform high intensity functional movement on the wrestling mat while performing multiple body weight or more dead lifts and cleans from odd angles while fatigued (throwing another kid around the mat)…

Regarding the dangers of CrossFit or Deadlifting….

I know many people who regularly do or can explain away the dangers of Drunk Driving or Skydiving but will vouch that performing a Deadlift is a terrible idea….I’ve known 5 people killed in Skydiving or Drunk Driving accidents but have never met anyone who has been seriously injured in CrossFit or while performing the Deadlift…

Regarding the form of CrossFit…

The lady in the article posts excellent points about form, technique, consistency and intensity and the great dangers of high intensity functional movement. One of her other articles extols the virtues of the Spartan Race where several thousand people of all experience levels run through mud, freezing cold water, barbed wire, and ultimately attempt to scale a 12 foot wall covered in butter….I was unaware there is a technique for scaling butter covered walls taught in peer reviewed journals…

Regarding the Level 1 Certification process and how it can be completed in a weekend…

You can also get your driver’s license in a weekend or your concealed handgun license in a weekend, but that makes you neither a competent driver or a shooter capable of tactical Defensive Handgun situations…the Level 1 is meant to be the beginning of your CrossFit journey…not the end…

Regarding the ability to open a Box in after getting a certification…

CrossFit was invented by a Libertarian and espouses Libertarian ethos regarding the Free Market. You can open a Taco Stand after a weekend but that doesn’t make you El Tiempo, much like the Deadlift example, I’ve had a few bad experiences with Mexican food in my life but that doesn’t mean I should stop eating or liking Mexican food….you just go find a restaurant that has the quality you are seeking….

Here’s the deal as I see it ladies and gents, CrossFit has skullf&cked a lot of people in the strength and conditioning and fitness industry’s paradigms over the years. And many of these people have built their reputations and their livelihoods on their belief that…

As far as the Fitness Industry, Johnny Personal Trainer is concerned, they must cling to the following…

You as an individual are far too stupid to learn this stuff yourself…

You as an individual are too stupid to learn good technique; you must pay a personal trainer $100 an hour to learn…

You as an individual are only making progress through their direction and control…

And this is the business side of it, that you must pay them to learn more, and will only receive the attention you deserve by buying a pack of 10 or 20 personal training sessions…

Big box gyms, i.e. 24 hour fitness maximize their profits based on two things! Selling Personal Training sessions and then taking a very large cut from the Personal Trainers, many times, 60-80% for the floor space…

Or…

Selling Gym memberships to people that aren’t going to use them! Forget about them or think that $49 a month or less is a low enough barrier to just keep paying…

I am in the same business but I have to provide people with results to keep them paying me…

I don’t know a Personal Trainer working at a big box gym that wouldn’t set up his own shop in the blink of an eye if he had the capital…

They have a ton of student debt, a Kinesiology degree, multiple industry certifications, and they are working for the man every night and day (great song btw) making $15 an hour to work ten to twelve hour days…

They’ve been had…

Again, make no mistake, I am in the exact same business, people pay me to tell them what to do, to reach, seemingly a higher level of health or fitness…but CrossFit as an industry is charging for a month what most Personal trainers charge for a session or two…

And that’s why these guys are going off the rails and attacking CrossFit coaches like drunken Norwegian fisherman clubbing seal pups…

We are fucking with their program…

I spend a fair amount of time at a prestigious Houston area Country Club where the personal training sessions runs over a hundred dollars for 45 minutes, these trainers have impressive college degrees in Kinesiology and have multiple industry certifications….

These certifications by their very nature are provided by companies and governing bodies that have a vested interest in maintaining that, much like Personal Training, for a few hundred dollars more, you can reach the next level of Certification…

They have one well regarded certification that I cannot get because you must have a bachelor’s Degree to qualify for it….is isn’t a Bachelor’s Degree in Exercise Science but simply a degree, 20 years’ experience as a Personal Trainer or Strength Coach or NFL player will not qualify you for this unless you have a degree…

Btw, the test for this certification costs $1000 or more and there is an entire cottage industry of test preps set up to help you pass this exam, and they in turn cost several hundred to a thousand dollars…

By all the rules of the game, they should be capable of producing results in their clients but they rarely do, ten years ago when I started CrossFit, I knew, one woman that could do ten or more pull-ups, I now know hundreds if not thousands of people who have increased their strength, fitness, confidence, body image through CrossFit not because it’s really any different at all than any other training schemes out there but because we said you could and then challenged you to do it…

If you don’t know who Roger Bannister is, I suggest you find out…he said it was okay to run a mile faster than 4 minutes and many more people did very quickly thereafter…

Glassman has said its okay to do high intensity functional movement, just as Arnold said it was okay to have big muscles, massive steroid use, and illegitimate babies, grope women at every turn and still become Governor of California…

People especially in large organizations are adverse to change and they definitely don’t like being shown up…

My wife Susie is solicited all the time at the Club for advice or personal training because of the way she looks and the movements she can perform especially, why she has smoking hot legs…

She doesn’t ask for $100 to give this advice and then watch you walk on the treadmill to warm up for 15 minutes…she tells them to squat and squat heavy…

The Personal training model if built on making you come back…

The CrossFit model at least at the two gyms we own and what I believe are the quality gyms in Houston is built on making you fit…or fitt(er)

I once saw a Personal trainer and accomplished power lifter having his client set a 1 rep max Deadlift, the client, hit 465 with ease and excellent form, the client then said he was going to go for 500, a significant accomplishment for any lifter and a lifetime goal for most…

The trainer refused to let him, and I believe it had more to do with getting another personal training session out of him than safety…

The trainer even remarked and I quote, we’ll go after five hundred next week but you need a little more work on your form and technique, when can we schedule your next session?

There are many good personal trainers out there as there are good and bad CrossFit Coaches…

My simple advice is this, never take nutrition advice from a fat person, strength advice from a weak person or financial advice from a poor person….

It’s that simple…

Strength and Conditioning Coaches on the other hand are a tough nut to crack, they like the Volunteer Assistant Coach (btw, what is a Volunteer Assistant Coach anyways) who penned the Article in question have advanced degrees to include PhDs in Exercise Science, Kinesiology etc have taken this thing further than I ever would and can analyze movement and improvement to the nth degree…

And that’s why they are Strength and conditioning coaches but they also have their own biases…the number one rule in S&C is….

If the player is going to get hurt, it’s going to happen on the field, not in the weight room….

So, they are constantly trying to mitigate risk to produce a fit and safe athlete who can perform better on the field of play…the Strength and Conditioning is ancillary to the Sport….

The girls article cherry picks for sure, it ignores the 17 D1 Football players who in a single training session got rhabdo in the same squat workout a few years ago while performing 90 body weight squats for time while they were under intense pressure from other Coaches, S&C guys or other players to move quickly at all costs…

Or the USC player that dropped 275lbs on his throat after the S&C Coach who was supposed to be spotting him encouraged him to use a false grip on the bench to get one more rep…

You can cherry pick arguments to support any conclusion on the internet and citing WebMD as your main source is about as legitimate as a 9/11 Truther funded by Charlie Sheen…

Btw, the last time I went on WebMD for a sore foot, I either was having a stroke, gonorrhea or a bunion…

CrossFit has become the end unto itself…and its success is in giving people results in CrossFit…

Let me say that again…

CrossFit has become an end unto itself and the sport you are training for has become the daily competition and that’s the crux of the argument…

Its fun the way Zumba is fun and helps people lose wait but certainly doesn’t qualify you for DWTS…

A friend of mine and nationally recognized NFL quality S&C Coach said today, that if CrossFit is going to ever be held in regard by legitimate S&C Coaches, we have to get our act together…

My response would be, I am not trying to be held in regard by S&C Coaches, I am trying to make people fit in my tiny little section of the planet…

I don’t need a world class, world champion kick boxer to teach my fat Moms Cardio K Kickboxing Class at the YMCA…

I just need them to move….if they want to fight in the Octagon, they must seek out more specialized training and accept a more difficult path with more chance of injury….

Strength and Conditioning Coaches are used to dealing with highly trained, highly motivated, highly specialized athletes that need specialized periodized training etc. etc…

So if you want to CrossFit, CrossFit….

It has worked for me, at 34, I am stronger and faster than I was at 24…and I was pretty freaking strong at 24…

I have been sore along the way, I hit a 5 rep max on the Deadlift this morning and I am a tad bit sore, I suspect some people who have never encountered soreness in a high intensity environment, if they felt my soreness would equate it with an injury worthy of a 4 week break from training and a box of Bonbons…

I’ve had people tell me that they were so severely injured in the gym that they couldn’t walk and they had to take two months off…

When I ask them why they didn’t go to the Doctor if they physically couldn’t walk and how they got to work for two months if they were so injured, they couldn’t move, the story quickly unravels…

If you want to not CrossFit, don’t CrossFit…

But if you want to get in shape, do something, and do it with high intensity and you will be fine….

If CrossFit is too dangerous to do, you can always pay Erin Simmons to program for you; she has her own website and will provide her knowledge and arrange you workouts based on compound lifts, cardio capacity and high intensity training…

For a price….

I don’t know the girl but I have to respect that she titled the article “Why I don’t do CrossFit”, it’s not titled “Why YOU shouldn’t do CrossFit”…

I could easily right an article titled, “Why I don’t do long distance running” or “Why curling is the dumbest sport ever invented and shouldn’t be in the Olympics”…

But those are just my opinions; I am protecting my own personal beliefs and my profits…

Ultimately, as a good friend so aptly put…fitness and nutrition should be added to politics and religion in things not to talk about at the dinner table…

It’s a business people, and when we take the competing business interests out of the equation, we can have a real conversation about how to best get fit….

I’m going to go do my WOD in the driveway because I have a pull-up bar and room to run…and that’s CrossFit in a nutshell…

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